Have you ever opened up to your parents, teachers, professors, or partners about an unconventional dream of yours, only for them to insist that you seek out something more reliable — in other words: a corporate job?
Well, I don’t have parents anymore, and I’m no longer in school, so teachers nor professors apply.
However, I do have a partner, but he’s fully on board with the reveries that float around in my head.
So on the bright side, there is nobody in my life who’s insisting that I seek out something more reliable than my shot-in-the-dark dreams that I’m determined to transform into realities.
But if you answered yes, then I’m right there with you.
It’s happened to me before, too.
A reaction like that stings, but not in the way a bumble bee does. See, those types of stings go away on their own in time. They hurt, they heal, and you go on your merry way.
But the way people respond to our dream-oriented confessions can have a much more lasting impact, subsequently inflicting a far lengthier recovery time.
The sting stemming from a dismissive reaction doesn’t go away on its own. In fact, it often stays with you until you actively tend to the wound — and I’m not talking about applying baking soda or calamine lotion to the injection site.
Years ago, all it took was one run-in with someone who told me my dreams were impossible for me to then zip my mouth shut, place a padlock on my lips, and vow to never ever proclaim my dreams aloud until I had the success to show for them.
That’s why I’ve always leaned into the notion of working in silence. After being met with discouragement one time when I was seven years old, I made a point to never tell anybody what I was going to do. I told myself it was only acceptable to be vulnerable once I’d accomplished what I was setting out to accomplish.
My mindset remained the same until quite recently. Ever since, I’ve been trying on the concept of building in public like it’s a T-shirt I’ve never worn.
What I’ve come to realize was that I won’t wake up one day and decide to fire myself. So, I’ve decided to embark on a few business-related ventures that are in their earliest stages at this point in time. But by allowing myself to work on what I want to work on—without fearing if people see me attempting new things.
It can be terrifying to aim high because of how far you’ll fall if you miss.
Even so, I’m aiming high, shooting beyond the stars, and reaching for dreams that sometimes feel too far to reach for in the first place.
But nothing is impossible — including our most out-there dreams.
Here are the four ways I plan to transform my reveries into reality. Apply them to your process as you reach for your dreams, too.
#1. Adopting the Mindset that Anything Can Happen
We often think we’re in control. To an extent, I suppose we are, especially if we have a detailed plan in our hands.
But at the same time, not everything goes to plan.
In fact, if your life has unfolded in a similar nature to mine, very little transpires in a formulaic manner.
Even though a lack of predictability can spiral into an uproar of chaos, there is something to be said for never knowing what could happen. When you’re open to anything, you’re not hindered by limitations, which opens every single possible door out there.
Anything can happen—and this is true whether the events are favorable or unfortunate. But no matter what, life keeps going and you can recover from every setback you encounter. Keep your eye on the prize.
Understand that anything can happen, but remember that this isn’t necessarily a truth to fear. Embrace changes and seek out the upside to every experience.
There’s often always a silver lining. You might have to squint to find it, but it’s there.
Look closer.
#2. Executing a Trial-and-Error Approach
Something that captivated me about working in silence is that it’s safe. I gravitated towards keeping everything a secret because if nobody knows what you want, they have nothing to hold over you.
Again, working in silence was a trauma-based action of mine. I expected anyone I came in contact with to somehow sabotage me, so I withheld as much ammo as I possibly could in an effort to protect myself.
I was always on the defensive.
Nowadays, I can defend myself if need be, but it’s not my automatic response anymore. I don’t mind if someone doesn’t believe in me because my sense of self is robust and only I get to decide what permeates my exterior.
As a result, I don’t fear failure because that’s the only surefire way to reach success. And after all, you’re supposed to be inadequate at tasks you’ve never completed before.
I’ve never done what I’m setting out to do. It’s my first time at the rodeo as they say, so it would be rather silly of me to expect myself to know exactly what to do from day one. But I can try on day one, and I’ll try again on day two, and I’ll likely fail somewhere in between.
From there, I’ll analyze what I could do better on day three as I trial-and-error my way to success. It all starts with trying. If you make an error, simply pivot. If you fail, understand why and execute from a new angle.
Eventually, I’ll figure it out. But I can only figure it out if I take the first step and try, so here I am — trying.
#3. Maintaining Consistency
No matter what you’re after in this lifetime, the one underlying factor that transcends context is consistency. Without it, nothing you practice will yield any sort of professionalism or expertise.
As such, I’m committing to consistency, meaning I won’t throw in the towel when the going gets rough because — believe me — I am sure I will feel like an absolute incompetent novice as I set out on this adventure.
But you know what all professionals and experts have done to get where they are? They’ve maintained consistency in their craft.
Stick with it.
#4. Viewing Fear as Fuel
I’m not one to pretend to be someone I’m not, mostly because it’s not in my nature but partially because it’s too much upkeep. Why adorn an identity that isn’t one you actually align with? I do not see the point myself.
That being said, I will not paint a picture in which I am fearless, ultra-confident, or anything remotely close to tranquil.
Not only am I petrified by the prospect of failing in a public setting, but I am also wildly uncomfortable with stating my goals without any credibility to back up my claims. I don’t have anything to show for my dreams at this point in time aside from commitment, drive, and an undying promise to myself.
None of that is tangible. And that’s frightening.
But discomfort rooted in fear is a stepping stone that leads to growth. And these emotional states of mine are simply fear-based responses being elicited in an effort to keep me safe and sound.
I can feel my emotions without being controlled by them — an art form I only recently mastered, another one being the way I utilize my fear as fuel.
The more scared I am, the more endurance I have. Not sure the actual science-based reason for this, but alas — it is advantageous so I don’t question it.
Even so, I know that I haven’t done it yet, so who am I to boldly announce that I have the ability to do something before actually doing it?
Well, I could always challenge my fear, reverse the question, and ask, “Who am I not to?”
Exactly.
Who am I not to take a chance and give my dreams a shot?
And who are you not to make your reveries actual realities?
I am just as capable as anyone else who sets their mind to something and completes what they are out to accomplish. So here I go — viewing my fear as fuel rather than a hindrance to which I succumb.
Don’t succumb.
Instead, overcome.
Do You Believe in Yourself?
Here’s the thing.
Up until a year ago, I believed in security, which I now view as a false sense of certainty.
But before my perspective shifted, I figured that getting something was the equivalent of keeping something, but just because something makes an arrival doesn’t mean it won’t soon announce its departure.
I now operate under the assumption that permanence is often, if not always, a facade. We are ever-evolving and our circumstances are ever-changing.
I’ve come to understand that I have nothing to lose, and when you give yourself no other option but to win, you’ll surprise yourself by how committed you become.
The 180 my brain took has everything to do with the way the year 2020 snatched away everyone I thought I had more time with…but that’s an anecdote for another time.
For now, I try not to hold onto anything too tightly because if it’s time for it to go, I want to let it go.
They say that rejection is a redirection, and they’re right. But how can you be directed down the path meant for you if you can’t bring yourself to take the risks necessary to pivot?
And who knows? Maybe things I’ve said toodle-loo to will come back.
If these endeavors ever do, so be it. I’ll be here if they return.
But for the time being, the farewell has been bid and the belief that I can make my dreams come true has arrived in its place.
The exact step-by-step isn’t all that important.
What is important is that I adopt the mindset of building in public, execute a trial-and-error approach, maintain consistency, and view my fear as fuel.
And I plan to do just that, as should you.
Please note that my post contains affiliate links, meaning I will receive a small commission if you decide to purchase any of these items via my links.
You don’t pay anything additional in order for me to receive the commission!
If you’d like to read more about affiliate links and how they benefit me without inconveniencing you, feel free to read my disclaimer ☽